What does the Chemo Hat Relay mean to me?

I write poetry, but this was a hard question for me to put into words. After some thought, I knew what it meant to me. This was my post to the my yahoo group, LoomKnittingNewbies:

"Although my finances are always in the minus category, I felt that I had to take up the challenge of doing Bev's 2007 Chemo Hat Drive for a Relay for Life fundraiser.

My father, who was my best friend in the world, passed away on December 4, 1995 from his second round of colon cancer. At the time of his death, the cancer had spread over his entire body. He refused chemotherapy on this round. My father was a very outspoken, always honest, very old fashioned southern man from Mississippi. He loved his family and what he had worked hard to get in his life. He would not let me come home after he found out he only had 5 or 7 days to live. Even then, I knew that no matter how much I wanted to, he was, after all, still my father and his last word was just that.

By taking up this challenge to raise money for finding a cure for cancer, I feel that I am bringing some small amount of comfort to someone who has taken a chance to stop this terrible disease in their life with chemotherapy. If in that small way, one of the hats that I have tried to make so perfect, might be just the perfect thing and the perfect color they were looking for to give them one smile for a little while, then my mission is complete. My father always said to give to people in need, not for a pat on the back for what you did, but because they need it more than you do."

This took me a few minutes, and a few tears, remembering my father as I saw him last, when he had no choice but to tell me that he had cancer again. I had went home to Mississippi in May of 1995 to visit, and had found something that concerned me. I asked everyone there except for Dad. Finally after everyone had confirmed that the blood spot I found was not theirs, I went to my father. He looked like a small child who had broken someone's window. First he tried to deny it, but I am his daughter after all, who he had taught to be honest above all else and he had to tell me. He refused to go to the doctor until my visit was over but promised to do so the very next day.

Sometimes I fail miserably at living what he tried to teach me. Sometimes I need my best friend to talk to about things that are overwhelming in my life. Sometimes I just need a hug from my father.

I made these Chemo Hats to help someone out there who is going through one of the worst times in their lives. I made these Chemo Hats to tell them not to ever, ever give up on a cure being found. I made these Chemo Hats because my father would have wanted me to do everything in my means to help someone.

No matter how small a gesture seems to you, it may be an enormous gesture to the person receiving it.